After only 7 years of dating, I popped the question. I know what you’re thinking – it’s a bit soon – but I’ve spent more than ΒΌ of my life with her, so I figured it was about time. Is 7 years the sweet spot? Well she said yes, so maybe. But I’m an engineer so I don’t believe in luck and I like approach things in a more analytical sense. I express things like “emotions” and “tears” in terms of pie charts and graphs. Here is my strategy (recipe) for proposing to that special someone. I like to call it “The Master Plan”.
The key to this theory is to bring her down a few notches before proposing; This makes the proposal seem astronomically better! One way to do this is to get her angry/confused about something. Try to convince her that you truly want to live under the sea, or insist that you can’t live with someone who eats cheese frequently. However you do it, bring down her level of happiness for a few minutes (or hours/days, if you’re daring).
Why does this work? Look at the variable X1 on the chart above – it represents the difference in happiness before and after the proposal if you DON’T “bring her down a notch”. Not so great. Now look at X2, which is the difference in happiness if you first convince her of something abnormal. Much better, right? Get it? Now for the ingredients to get you through this….
Ingredients:
1 Meaningful Ring 1
1 Phone call to her father 2
1 Memorable place 3
Cojones (a.k.a Courage) 4
Notes:
1 Most important part
2 Scariest part
3 Optional
4 It only took 7 years for me to find it
Directions:
1. Find the perfect ring. The size of the rock is important to some women, but meaning is important to all women. I designed the ring above online at Gemvara.com. It’s patterned with peridot (my birthstone) and white sapphire (her birthstone). You can mess with her head and her feelings, but DON’T MESS WITH THE RING.
2. Call her father or ask him in person. Not everyone does this, but it’s a nice gesture. Luckily her parents live on the West Coast, so I only had to make a phone call. Still, that was the most nerve-wracking phone call I’ve ever had to make. The only advice I have is to consume a stiff drink beforehand.
3. Choose a location. If it’s too picturesque it might be borderline cheesy and she’s probably expecting that. You want to keep her on her toes. However, if the location is too boring it might lack the “luster” she’s always dreamed of. I did it behind a hospital, which was no-frills and all surprise.
4. Wait for the right time, drown out the sound of your racing heartbeat, make your eyes all beady like a puppy, soak up all the courage you can muster and bend the knee. You can practice and rehearse what you plan to say, but you have no control over what will actually come out of your mouth. If it doesn’t make sense, just push the ring closer to her face.
Additional Info:
Here we are, a happy couple indeed! (the photo is from my sister’s recent wedding)